Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize