I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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