I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
