she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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