then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
