Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
