Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Your dad touched me again.

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  (212): Your dad touched me again. http://tfl.nu/syvf
  Replies (31) Good night (2198) Bad night (24052)
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  (650): View more from California

  Why were you high on a thursday?

  (1-650): View more from California

  today's a wednesday

  (650): View more from California

  I asked first.

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  (650): Why were you high on a thursday? (1-650): today's a wednesday (650): I asked first. http://tfl.nu/enxr
  Replies (9) Good night (2538) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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  (419): I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel. http://tfl.nu/xpce
  Replies (28) Good night (854) Bad night (5407)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.

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  (703): tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions. http://tfl.nu/m5qp
  Replies (67) Good night (828) Bad night (5792)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order

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  (416): Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order http://tfl.nu/9jwa
  Replies (12) Good night (5261) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it

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  (606): I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it http://tfl.nu/8mat
  Replies (6) Good night (2886) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka

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  (919): I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka http://tfl.nu/i4zm
  Replies (7) Good night (8100) Bad night (1253)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week

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  (732): hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week http://tfl.nu/ig19
  Replies (9) Good night (3095) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.

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  (814): I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/b3si
  Replies (13) Good night (1200) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober

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  (606): Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober http://tfl.nu/4i83
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.

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  (647): Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face. http://tfl.nu/pfop
  Replies (1) Good night (338) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

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  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?

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  (832): So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid? http://tfl.nu/r78n
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.

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  (845): I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this. http://tfl.nu/z7id
  Replies (3) Good night (626) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Got another job?

  (607): View more from New York

  If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.

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  (740): Got another job? (607): If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job. http://tfl.nu/7dk4
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (287)

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