THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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