im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.