Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Whiskey dick.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Everyday of my life.

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  (417): Whiskey dick. (810): Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it. (417): Everyday of my life. http://tfl.nu/axyq
  Replies (3) Good night (1067) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

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  (281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery http://tfl.nu/mwr2
  Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (1445)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.

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  (203): I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help. http://tfl.nu/59br
  Replies (44) Good night (6314) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."

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  (310): Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz." http://tfl.nu/9mw5
  Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (5384) Bad night (1950)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3322) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered

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  (+44): Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered http://tfl.nu/4p47
  Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (4126)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.

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  (414): He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after. http://tfl.nu/s41l
  Replies (8) Good night (3722) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.

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  (903): Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high. http://tfl.nu/bi94
  Replies (6) Good night (1461) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

  (1-925): View more from California

  what are you doing with your life

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  (925): 370HSSV 0773H read that upside down (1-925): what are you doing with your life http://tfl.nu/25tc
  Replies (19) Good night (5289) Bad night (1519)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation

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  (941): Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation http://tfl.nu/t0q4
  Replies (15) Good night (1771) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?

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  (513): One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that? http://tfl.nu/b48m
  Replies (4) Good night (1413) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  God bless Atlanta.

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  (917): Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes (610): God bless Atlanta. http://tfl.nu/oxn2
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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  (732): Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS. http://tfl.nu/p93u
  Replies (3) Good night (714) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just 2. But still.

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  (425): Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?! (425): Just 2. But still. http://tfl.nu/bmdt
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (266)

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