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it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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