I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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