What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
