its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
