shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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