i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
