Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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