Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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