WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
