Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
