did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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