She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you inspire me to be a worse person
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
