I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
