Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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