I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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