I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
