i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
