Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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