Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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