Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
