don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
