All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
