She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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