Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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