And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
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Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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