He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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