forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
