Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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