everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
