I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
