your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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