Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
