The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
