Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
