when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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