I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
