I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize