Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
