Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
