no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
MIDGETS
????
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize