Pappa wants mamma naked
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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