It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i think my cat just said my name.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
