is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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