He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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