so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
