Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize