May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
