what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
