She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA