First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
