I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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