idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Let's paint friendship bongs
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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