just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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