My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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