found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
