Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
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If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day