Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.

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(970): View more from Colorado

last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!

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(843): View more from South Carolina

fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(414): View more from Wisconsin

You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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(540): View more from Virginia

we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated

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(813): View more from Florida

The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.

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(408): View more from California

I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol

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(816): View more from Missouri

We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...

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