currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize