Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.