Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.