she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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